Memories - Where to go from here -

November 20, 2009

Wow!  What an emotional year this has been.  I’ve been up and down and all around since bells chimed at midnight January 1. 

Lately it’s been a host of minor annoyances that keep me reeling.  I feel adrift.  I feel no sense of accomplishment…probably the reason I spent one Saturday cleaning the garage and another cleaning the basement just so I could witness over and over again the fruit of my labor.

On November 7, I spent a good portion of the day cleaning the garage – my way of being productive while enjoying some awesome temperatures.  A part of this was also a “gift” for my husband (showing him I love him and appreciate him.)  Mark’s been working lots of overtime lately and has little time for anything else, so this was my token…little did I know what effect it would have on me.

In the midst of everything I found a couple of boxes that I had brought from mom’s house some time ago and they got left in the garage and eventually got buried under other things.  In one of them I found a treasure of old pictures (some are now on FaceBook where they have sparked interesting conversations.)  I also uncovered two old journals from 25 years ago.  I spent a week re-reading them word for word.  A small part of me wanted the freedom back that those years afforded me, but most of me was so glad it was all behind me; the heartaches of the first boyfriend, the hangovers of a new drinker, the crushes, etc etc.

What struck me the most – in a painful way – was often I wrote of how I was going to lose weight once and for all – that I was in control and could make this happen, etc etc.  This has been my mantra for 25 years!!!!!!!!  That startled me.  It is time to end it once and for all.  To make it worse – looking at those old pictures – I’d take that body back in a heartbeat.  It did not need weight loss like my body does today.  The want has always been there – but the staying power hasn’t.  Maybe this time I can make it work…

Emotions – we all have them.  As I am dealing with the emotions of everyday, I was also reliving some emotions from the past, as I read my life story.  Let’s add Facebook to the confusion.  Ironically, as I am reading about one boyfriend, a different old boyfriend sends me a friend request on FB.  We chat and rehash – him telling me his memories.  In a way it was a nice ego boost to know that after all this time someone still remembers….       Yesterday I received another friend request from an old beau.  I laughed.  I am tempted to write my FB status as follows:  “Are you familiar with the song All my Ex’s Live in Texas?­  Well, all mine live in FB and they are now my friends.”  Oh the wonders of technology.

By now – if you have read this far – you are probably wondering what this has to do with weight loss.  Absolutely nothing; and yet, a whole lot of something.  These  memoirs have helped me to know myself better.  I see a pattern that emerged over the years.  I now know what the battle is I am truly fighting.  I am now formulating a plan of attack.  It is my plan to have this formulated by December 1 at the latest and end this year on a positive note and bring that right into the new year.

I’ve made plans before – we all have.  But truly knowing the nature of the beast I am conquering, should help.  I am counting on my buddies to make me accountable from December 1 forward.

Have a great weekend. 

  

What encourages you? Reading, Ice Cream & Rambling…

Hello Buddyslim

I have been quiet for a while, but that is a good thing – I think.  Besides being terribly busy right now, I am trying to overcome some addictions (food, computer & nicotine), spending more time with family and getting to know myself.

We all change over time, and I am discovering things about me that I didn’t know.  I would be my friend if I met me on the street. :-)

Addictions – I LOVE LOVE ice cream.  Until recently, it was a daily “ritual” for me.  Almost obsessive in my need for the cool creamy stuff.  No surprise then why I need to lose weight.  As of today, I have gone 6 days without ice cream.  It’s still a struggle, the temptation to go and buy some haunts me.  For now I am getting by with sugar free pudding or fat free yogurt.  As with any addiction, it is day by day progress.  The computer is also a great addiction of mine.  I decided that I need less “screen” time and more quality time with family and for myself.  So, as much as I love you all, I am trying to limit myself to every other day for now.  Please don’t be offended.  Last week at weigh in, I showed a 2 pound loss, so these gradual changes must be working.  (Even though I am staying away from the computer, if you need me I will be there for you, just send me a message.)

My goals are still the same: eat less, move more, drink more water, etc, but I am more interested in my pursuit now.  What changed?  Why the turn around?  Well, I love to read.  Recently I completed a book that had a profound impact on me and my desire to lose weight.  After reading this book, it haunted me.  I not only wanted to lose weight, but truly wanted to be healthy.  I went on-line to research nutrition.  I visited websites belonging to the American Heart Association, the American Diabetes Association etc.  (Currently I have no health issues, and would like to keep it that way.)  They also listed great reading materials – some of which I have checked out from our local library.  Although I have know the basics of nutrition and the method to lose weight (eat less move more) I am learning more and more about how much fat a body should consume, the differences in the types of carbs etc.  I am like a sponge these days just soaking up knowledge.

I know some of you must be curious what book made such a profound impact on me.  Believe it or not, it was not a self-help book or a book about weight loss.  It was just a simple paperback, fiction novel.  Yep – reading for pleasure has changed my thinking.  If you are interested in an enjoyable novel, especially if you are a mom, I encourage you to read:  A Slice of Heaven by Sherryl Woods.

Wishing you all the success you deserve!

  encouragement25.jpg image by revmyspace2

Learning experience? Overcoming obstacles…

I got a little off track last week as I was suffering with some tooth pain and had to have an emergency root canal – as my buddies know.

You’re probably thinking “what’s this got to do with me?”  Simply this – Life happens.  I dealt with what I was handed and now it’s time to move on.  My goals for last week were: “Drink a minimum of 32 ounces of water at least 6 days this week, Walk a minimum of 30 minutes at least 4 days this week, Plan meals & snacks and Write in my food journal and aim for 1700 calories at least 4 days this week.”  For this week, my goals were:  Drink at least 64 ounces of water everyday this week, Walk a minimum of 45 minutes 4 days this week, Plan meals & snacks and Write in my food journal at least 5 days this week and aim for 1500 calories per day.”  Since I didn’t take my baby steps as planned, I will focus on the following goals for this week:

Walking a minimum of 30 minutes at least 5 days, Drinking 48 – 64 ounces of water each day and Writing in my food journal at least 4 days this week and aim for 1600 calories.

Lesson one:            Life happens – make the best of the situation and move on.  Don’t let “one moment” ruin all moments.

Some of you may know that smoking is my other battle.  For the past 6 months, I have been a “closet smoker,” which means very few people know I continue to smoke and I am smoking very little.  As my doctor says, “your smoking just enough to keep you addicted.”  In the past when I have tried to quit, the nicotine withdrawals were so horrible and I was so “ugly.”  I don’t want to be that monster again.

Smoking, like weight loss, is something only you can do for yourself.  The benefits of quitting (or losing weight) are terrific.  Both entail a lot of discipline, change and willingness.  So often we hear “I can’t do it.” or “It’s too hard.” Etc.  I think we get stuck in these “pity pots” and also fall victim to those “addicts” (food or otherwise) around us and the media.  I have heard and read that next to cocaine, nicotine is the worst addiction to break.  With that said, the media has already planted the seed that this will be too difficult to bear.

This past weekend I enjoyed time away with my mother and my daughter.  We went camping and horseback riding.  I smoked a cigarette around 3:00 Friday before I picked my daughter up at school and didn’t have another until after I dropped her off at school this morning.  I went 65 hours without even thinking about smoking.  I was relaxed and content.  Why I was stupid and purchased some more this morning is beyond me.  I have chastised myself over it.  But this too, is over – time to move on.  I fell down – time to brush myself off, put one foot in front of the other and continue on this journey.  I am thrilled with the knowledge that I can beat nicotine!

Lesson two:  Don’t be a victim.  We can do anything we set our minds to do!

Will you join me this week?  Pick one thing that is an absolute chore for you and make every effort to do it.  For me – that is drinking water each and every day.

 

Midweek update, my daughter, etc….

wednesday.gif image by kayebear

Hello Buddies:

Just dropping in for a quick midweek update.  I am attaining most of my goals for this week.  Since Monday, I have walked 3-1/3 miles over 68 minutes.  I will be heading out after this writing for another 8/10 mile (15 minutes) so am getting that 30 minutes of exercise I wanted.  I was shooting for 32 ounces of water, but have been getting 48 -bonus - considering I am one of those difficult water drinkers ;)  I forgot how much I enjoyed walking - guess I missed it a little.

My other two goals were meal planning - which I really haven’t been doing this week as we had leftovers from the anniversary party Saturday to eat up - another reason why I am not counting calories this week.  I am writing down everything I eat though, to strengthen that habit.

These are tiny steps, but that is ok.  It is what I planned and I am acomplishing that.  This little success will keep me motivated to reach for more.

Some of my buddies have asked how my daughter is doing.  She is much better and back in school.  She has gained back 10 of the 20+ pounds she lost while being so ill.  See pictures on my profile page


Superwoman? Goals & Planning…

 

Of course I want to be Superwoman - don’t we all?  i want to manage my house, my full time job, attend every school & church event, manage my volunteer duties, spend quality time with my family, etc., etc - all while losing weight.  It can be done.  I am not about to say it can’t, but, it takes a lot of planning and a lot of effort.

As I sit here (drinking water) pondering my goals after my 4 month hiatus, I am torn between the dream and the reality.  I’d love to drink 100 ounces of water daily like Kama, do kick boxing and pilates like Nancy and run 11 miles like Karin…this is the dream.  Reality is:  I am not those people.  I am ME.  I am overweight and out of shape.  Some day I might be able to work out and keep up with my buddies, but today is not that day.

Knowing this and knowing me as I do, my goals for September are this:

Week of September 14:

-Drink a minimum of 32 ounces of water at least 4 days this week.
-Walk a minimum of 30 minutes per day at least 3 days this week.
-Plan meals & snacks
-Write down everything I eat at least 4 days this week.

Week of September 21:

-Drink a minimum of 32 ounces of water at least 6 days this week.
-Walk a minimum of 30 minutes at least 4 days this week.
-Plan meals & snacks
-Write in my food journal and aim for 1700 calories at least 4 days this week.

Week of September 28:

-Drink at least 64 ounces of water everyday this week.
-Walk a minimum of 45 minutes 4 days this week.
-Plan meals & snacks
-Write in my food journal at least 5 days this week and aim for 1500 calories per day.

With that said, I am happy to report that today I have already consumed 24 ounces of water and walked for 18 minutes (0.78 miles.)  I think that is a good start - considering I won’t be going to bed for at least 9 hours yet.

determination.jpg determination image by shannonrowland

Where were you?

“Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day…?”

I face today with mixed emotions - sadness at the memory of the tragedy that took place on US soil 8 years ago and joy over my 10th wedding anniversary.

It doesn’t matter if you live on US soil or foreign land, terror and tragedy can strike anywhere.  As I look back over the last 10 years - my married life - I see many triumphs and tribulations that I have faced and endured.  It is these moments that made me the person I am today.  Every joy, every sorrow all molded together and here I am…

It is my hope today that you take a moment to remember those lost - both during the 9/11 tragedy and beyond…personal losses, veterans etc.  After that moment of silence, I hope, if only for today, each and everyone of us will hang up the gripe ax, the self-pity ax and any other negative axes we may be carrying.  Be grateful today - if you are part of this website, you are not living in a malnourished country.  If you come here and rant and rave or celebrate -be grateful that you have that freedom of speech.  I could go on and on with reasons to be grateful, but I think you see my point.  If only for today, be proud of who you are, count every blessing you have and tell your friends and family you love them - life is short; enjoy it.

Livelifetothefullestpoem.jpg Live life to the fullest poem image by boo_boo221

9-11-1.gif image by smith324bullock

Again & Again & Again…

I started to write a blog last week, but got interupted by work - imagine that. 

I am returning after a 4 month medical hiatus.  I am happy to see that my true buddies are still here.  It saddens me that others have not logged in for months as well.  And, there are so many new faces/names.  I hope I get to know some of you.

For me it’s almost like starting over.  The habits and progress I made have dwindled (although I have not gained any weight.)  I need to start out with small steps and build - just like I did when I began.  As long as I keep beginning, I am not falling back into the old trap.  Small steps done over again & again & again eventually form a habit.  The more we practice the stronger we become - right?

The remainder of this week will be spent planning for next week.  What steps will I take?  What will my goals be?  I will let you know soon. 

It is my hope that the luv & support I felt before my hiatus will still be here.

Seasons….Me….Buddyslim…the Future

There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal,
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace. 
-Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

Hello friends and fellow buddyslimmers!

That verse from Ecclesiastes pretty much sums up my life these days.

I cannot believe 3-1/2 months have passed since I have been here to blog, support, weep, triumph, etc.    My daughter took ill on April 8, missed 6 weeks of school and was hospitalized for 8 days.  She returned to school May 19 (half days only) to complete the school year.  She is about 80% recovered, but still not completely healed.  Needless to say bringing her back to full health is my focus now - not my weight loss journey.  I can always do that, but my babe will only be my babe once.

I send warm regards to my friends who supported me thru this difficult time.  It’s unfortunate that I had to lose my Wildcat status because I could not weigh in while we lived at the hospital, but everything happens for a reason.  No worries…

As life slowly settles into the summer routine and my daughter has more time to rest and relax, I pray that healing takes place quickly.  When that happens I will have more free time for the computer, journaling and exercising. 

I am pleased to report that thru these months I was able to drop 4 pounds.  For an emotional eater that is a good thing.  I am slowly gearing up for my return.  I must admit I hesitate a bit - I’ve been browsing thru the blogs and am saddened at the back biting negativity that I have seen.  I hope it is a fluke.  When I left on “medical leave,” BS was a friendly supportive place.  I do hope I continue to see that.

Happy summer everyone!  Keep up the good work!

Why?

There are days when I wonder why I even bother getting up!

I can do great for about 4 days - calories, exercise, water, etc.  And then BAM! something sneaks up and I lose it.  Today it was lunch - Cajun Chicken Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich.  What makes it worse is that I had a terrific healthy lunch with me at work.  Co-workers were ordering out and I passed the opportunity by. 

Later the sandwich was on my desk.  A co-worker thought I didn’t order because I didn’t have $$ with me, so they were “kind” enough to buy lunch for me.  YIKES!  The smart thing would have been to get rid of it, but not me - not in a weakend state with TOM here visiting.  Nope I ate the whole damn thing.

An hour later I sit here regretting it.  Tears are building up in my eyes.  I know that I just need to start over at the next meal (and I will.)  But I am so, so tired of starting over.  Seems all I ever do is start over, never make any real progress.

Addictions are horrible.  If you’ve never been an addict, you wouldn’t know.  Being a food addict has to be the worst because you can’t just “quit” as you still need food for sustenance.  You just sit there teetering on the edge hoping your reserve is strong enough, but knowing you could fall at any moment.

I’m miserable and disgusted! :-(

Alone_in_the_unknown_by_webby85.jpg image by wildazzkat1

Heart Healthy Eating…

The following is copied from a monthly news letter that I receive from our local hospital.  For those unsure of “where to begin,” there is a lot of good advice here.  For those “veterans” check out the links below for new recipe ideas.

Eating heart healthy today has taken on a whole new meaning. The days of a strict, low-fat diet are gone. Welcome a diet that has flavor with an emphasis on healthy fats, fruits and vegetables, whole grains, seafood, herbs, spices and moderate alcohol consumption. Celebrity chefs are promoting more healthful and lighter cuisine and dietitians are endorsing the message that heart-healthy food choices can be delicious. To help us learn more about how we can adapt a heart healthy eating pattern let’s take a look at the Mediterranean Diet which offers flavor, health benefits, and a way to lose weight naturally, as well.

U.S. researchers discovered in the 1950’s that the Mediterranean Diet was possibly the healthiest way of eating in the world. People who live in the Mediterranean tend to have lower cholesterol levels and lower rates of heart disease and cancer than Americans do. Although these health benefits can be related to the diet their healthy lifestyle of exercising regularly, enjoying the simple pleasures in life and sharing healthy meals with family and friends plays an important role, too.

The traditional Mediterranean diet is based on the foods eaten by the people of Crete, Greece and southern Italy. The diet has less saturated fat and more fresh food than the usual American diet. It includes more grains, fruits, vegetables and legumes and olive oil is the main source of fat. One of the greatest differences, though, is red meat is eaten only a few times per month. It also tends to have a high rate of compliance for those trying to lose weight because the food is so good you don’t feel deprived. One study showed women on this diet lost an average of 8.4 pounds more than those on a low carbohydrate diet.

Let’s explore the key concepts of the Mediterranean Diet to improve your heart-healthy eating style.

Look to the Sea’s Jewels

Include fish two to three times a week to decrease saturated fat and increase intake of healthy omega-3 fats. Omega-3s can help to promote weight loss, too. In one study, dieters who ate three servings of fatty fish a week for eight weeks had an increase in leptin which is a hormone that helps to control appetite. Best sources of fatty fish are salmon, herring, anchovies, and sardines. If these types don’t appeal to you, more mild tasting types such as cod, haddock, sole or albacore tuna are also beneficial. To help neutralize a fishy taste try adding lemon, tomatoes, or white wine.

Increase your Veggies

Your goal is to strive for 5 or more servings a day. Actually, on this diet plan you can have an unlimited produce intake. The result will be in pounds lost because voluminous research has shown that increasing your intake of low-calorie; nutrient-dense vegetables and fruit will help you to lose weight. These foods allow you to eat satisfying amounts which will control hunger therefore promoting weight loss. The Mediterranean Diet uses vegetables in most of its dishes including soups, salads, stews, sauces, pasta, and pizza. Vegetables are often grilled and drizzled with extra-virgin olive oil to make them tastier.

Choose a Healthy Fat

Unlike the popular trend to follow a low-fat diet the Mediterranean diet is not low-fat. The total fat is about 25-40% of the daily calories but the major difference is that olive oil makes up most of the fat. The American diet, on the other hand, has most of its fat from animal sources which increases the saturated fat content. Olive oil is high in monounsaturated fats which when used to replace unhealthy saturated fats will reduce the risk for cardiovascular disease. An added bonus is the higher amount of healthy fat used makes food taste better. The healthiest olive oil to buy is cold-pressed extra virgin olive oil because it contains the most phenols and is great for drizzling over vegetables, adding to pastas, salads, and for dipping bread. Virgin olive oil is the next best variety and works well for sautéing.

Don’t’ Forget to Add Nuts

Research now shows that high-fat nuts which used to be off limits when trying to lose weight can actually help with this process. A study showed that dieters who ate a handful of almonds (about 22) daily for six months lost 18% of their body fat as compared to dieters who ate the same calories in complex carbohydrates (e.g. wheat crackers) lost less, about 11% of their body fat. Nuts can make a great snack but keep the portion small because the calories add up quickly. A great way to control portions is to add small amounts of nuts to cooked cereals or yogurt or include in desserts, salads, vegetables and pasta dishes which many Mediterranean recipes do.

Include Your Daily Greens

This diet includes dark leafy greens every day which are an excellent source of nutrients including folate, magnesium, carotenoids, trace minerals and fiber to help keep you full. If you need to add these to your diet start with mild greens such as romaine lettuce, spinach, or broccoli. As your taste buds adapt you might want to try kale or rapini which may be more appealing sautéed in olive oil and garlic.

Control Your Portions

When following the Mediterranean diet portions are controlled by having a small amount of everything and eating one course at a time. The usual fare is to have four or five courses at a meal. You start with a small first course of pasta or soup. The second course is a small meat or seafood serving about the size of the palm of your hand. The third course is a full plate of vegetables to help fill you up and provide a powerhouse of nutrition. Finally, a delicious, seasonal fruit is served for a sweet ending to the meal. This type of meal planning leaves you satisfied without overeating.

Eat Breakfast Daily

This is one of the most important aspects to help with providing your body with the nutrition you need everyday and promote a healthy, safe weight loss. You may want to try the Mediterranean fare of a simple meal which includes fruit, a small bowl of yogurt, bread with a nut spread and a great tasting cup of coffee.

Go for the Grains

Use whole grains whenever possible. Try to include half of your grains eaten daily as whole grains. When cooking pasta do so al dente which has a slight resistance when you eat it and will not raise your blood sugar as much as overcooked pasta.

Add in Beans

Lentils and dried beans and peas are the perfect weight-loss food. They are high in protein with no saturated fat, and great source of fiber. Add to soups, salads, stews, pasta and casseroles. Remember to drink six to eight glasses of water a day as you increase your intake of fiber, too.

Delicious and Healthy Desserts

The high-fat and sweet desserts so commonly served in the American diet are reserved for only special occasions on the Mediterranean diet. Fruit is the usual end to a meal. You can make fruit even more desirable by adding exotic varieties such as pomegranates or mangos to more available oranges, apples, and melons to make fruit salads. Poached pears or peaches, fruit with a small cookie or fresh berries on top of a small portion of ice cream or yogurt are just a few ideas to help with that sweet tooth.

Wine in Moderation

Wine, especially red wine, is considered essential to the Mediterranean way of life. Red wine is a good choice due to its high amount of natural antioxidants. Moderation is the key, though. At most women should limit their intake to one glass a day and men two glasses a day. It is also better to drink small amounts regularly than large amounts occasionally. Always check with your doctor first to see if there are any contraindications with consuming alcohol for you.

Summary

These are some of the key concepts that may help you adapt your diet to include the heart healthy practices of the Mediterranean diet. To learn more about the Mediterranean diet or find tasty recipes you may want to check the following resources:

BHG.com/EatMediterranean

www.oldwayspt.org

http://allrecipes.com

http://www.epicurious.com

(Search for “Mediterranean” on each site)

Article written by Jan Mittelstadt, RD, CD, CDE with the following resources used:

Better Homes and Gardens “Healthy You, The Way to Eat Now” February 2009

Today’s Dietitian “The Delicious Side of Heart-Healthy Eating” February 2009

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